If a man calls a woman that he's involved with "voluptuous", is he just politely calling her fat?
No. It is a positive and sexual comment on a woman who is not skinny.
@kenmele
No I think you are confused by that when a woman has a voluptuous figure, she have curves, typically big breasts and hips. There is fat in there, there is supposed to be.
When I think of fat, I am thinking of more fat than there should be.
When I think of fat, I am thinking of more fat than there should be.
@kenmele
Right. Theres only 2 types of bodies for you: fat and skinny.
So if someone thinks you are not skinny, then they must think you are fat, right?
I understand the reasoning. From a 10 yo. Not from an adult
So if someone thinks you are not skinny, then they must think you are fat, right?
I understand the reasoning. From a 10 yo. Not from an adult
@kenmele
I know I'm not skinny, but I'm not fat either. I'm in that gray area in between but "voluptuous" is definitely more towards the fat side of things
@kenmele
Fine. You are in that gray area called "normal." but let it go. None of us has ever seen you. But we defend those voluptuous women out there, a group that you are NOT a member of. Men often say stupid thing and rare mean how they are taken.
Probably. But I always associate the word voluptuous as being sexy and kinda meaty at the same time.
@Kingslayer
Easy--I like thick legs and ass. Kinda meaty as in a little (little) belly fat.
How would you describe yourself?
How would you describe yourself?
@Kingslayer
Yeah, but I wasn't interested in opinions on what I look like. I don't need validation. This was more about vocabulary & intent.
Have you asked him? Sounds like he likes you just like you are to me..........
@wytchinghours
You have to take a man literally, not adding your own interpretations. bc they are yours alone.
@wytchinghours
I don't even weight 100 lbs but I have big boobs so my hubby says I am voluptuous..........:)
@wytchinghours
True but I don't think I added my own interpretation.The word, by definition, implies a certain level of fat
@wytchinghours
Lucky man, sorry about your back, At 100 lbs, I am assuming that you are short, bc that is not a lot of weight.
Must have some radical curves. Well you are voluptuous, and this implies sexually attractive!! You have fat in all the right places (big boobs should definitely have fat in them), but you are not fat. This is what I am trying to tell the OP. Her man likes her assets, all she can hear is that he called her fat.
Must have some radical curves. Well you are voluptuous, and this implies sexually attractive!! You have fat in all the right places (big boobs should definitely have fat in them), but you are not fat. This is what I am trying to tell the OP. Her man likes her assets, all she can hear is that he called her fat.
@wytchinghours
I am not very big lol I am 5'0. And I say 10 lbs of me is boobs bwhahahahaha.
With the OP that is what happens when you just assume instead of just asking what he meant by what he said. He was paying her a compliment saying she was curvy. :)
With the OP that is what happens when you just assume instead of just asking what he meant by what he said. He was paying her a compliment saying she was curvy. :)
@wytchinghours
But voluptuous means you are curvy and sexually attractive to him. Its not anything bad
Was this his response to a "Do I look fat in this" type of question?
@Himself
Yes, like most girls feel from time to time, I felt a little bloated & asked if he thought I was fat. I know I'm not but I was having a bad day. What does that matter though? The end result is the same. He still said what he said
@Himself
Well, you're getting what your deserve for asking him the ultimate shit-testing question no man can answer without this kind of bonkers reaction. It's the no man gets out of here alive question.
@Himself
Simply questioning something is a bonkers reaction? Ok then. I didn't realize men couldn't ever be questioned
@Himself
You're not questioning it. You decided what it means before you posted here and expected us all to agree with you. As fat as I can see, nobody has, and you won't even consider dictionary definitions of he word, claiming you have the one true meaning of the word, despite one of the dictionaries eDJ quoted being one of current slang usage.
No, you have it right so you have justification to make a big drama out of what is a compliment. I think your bf should lawyer up.
No, you have it right so you have justification to make a big drama out of what is a compliment. I think your bf should lawyer up.
@Himself
How is that a conpliment? Check any online dating site & you will see obese women calling themselves "voluptuous" & "curvy". That's not the correct way to use those terms, but because of that & the whole fat acceptance movement, they have become euphemisms for fat. This makes me question what he meant
@Himself
As Wilde said, you are inventing insults where none exist. There are all sorts of positive meanings to the word, but because your personal definition is it can only mean fat, you're assuming what's in his head.
That's why I said you asked him the ultimate unanswerable shit-testing question a woman ever asks a man because it means she's insecure and will take whatever answer he gives as a insult. So enjoy feeling all angry at him and hurt and fat. You seem to want a excuse to feel even more miserable.
ETA: How is it a compliment to be called lush, sexually desirable, given to sensual pleasure; pleasurable to the senses, appealing, delightful, sensuous, enticing, erotics? Gee I don't know.
That's why I said you asked him the ultimate unanswerable shit-testing question a woman ever asks a man because it means she's insecure and will take whatever answer he gives as a insult. So enjoy feeling all angry at him and hurt and fat. You seem to want a excuse to feel even more miserable.
ETA: How is it a compliment to be called lush, sexually desirable, given to sensual pleasure; pleasurable to the senses, appealing, delightful, sensuous, enticing, erotics? Gee I don't know.
@Himself
Yes, they are. Now take your silly drama to your bf. No more attention for it from me.
@Himself
This question, your response, and the thread made me laugh wayy more than i should have...
Its funny when the " am i fat? " question is not happening to you...
Its funny when the " am i fat? " question is not happening to you...
@Himself
Yes, this definitely seems like the Urban Dictionary analysis on steroids. hehe xD
@Himself
Woah, Himself, cool down man, it's not worth the stress and strain your putting yourself under. c'est la vie ... Remember how I used to be on here? lol It's all good man. :D
Down girl, find some chocolate.
@Sterling
Excuse you? So now you're assuming that I'm fat? Lol I don't even like chocolate
@Sterling
You're excused.
And now you're assuming that I'm assuming. I assume you will continue to assume that I'm assuming.
And now you're assuming that I'm assuming. I assume you will continue to assume that I'm assuming.
Whether you're fat (or not), voluptuous (or not) or skinny (or not) it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Prior to you going fishing for a reason to be mad at your boyfriend, he was probably happy to bang you like a screen door in a hurricane... and probably will continue to find you physically attractive and sexy.
However if you keep up with this juvenile bullshit of inventing reasons to bitch about or at a guy who ostensibly loves and cares about you, you stand a good chance of being dumped, not because you're fat, but because you're a pain in the ass. Dial that crap back.
However if you keep up with this juvenile bullshit of inventing reasons to bitch about or at a guy who ostensibly loves and cares about you, you stand a good chance of being dumped, not because you're fat, but because you're a pain in the ass. Dial that crap back.
@Zombie
You are fishing. "Do you think I'm fat?" is the bait, you getting choked up about "voluptuous" is you reeling it in. Literally there is no answer to that question that can't be turned against the person answering it.
What you're doing here is trying to make yourself feel better by externalizing your upset on to your boyfriend. It's easier for you to be angry at him than to confront your self esteem issue. Don't do that. Its an extremely crappy thing to do... especially to someone you're supposed to care about.
What you're doing here is trying to make yourself feel better by externalizing your upset on to your boyfriend. It's easier for you to be angry at him than to confront your self esteem issue. Don't do that. Its an extremely crappy thing to do... especially to someone you're supposed to care about.
@Zombie
Then dump him and be done with it. He will never be able to meet your expectations because he will never be able to think and answer exactly the way YOU think he should think.
@Zombie
Yes, it's so much to not want him to think of me as fat & to view me positively. I'm asking for a whole lot
@Zombie
" I have an issue with his poor choice of words"
You have an issue with his words because you're looking for a reason to be mad at him.
You have an issue with his words because you're looking for a reason to be mad at him.
@Zombie
"Yes, it's so much to not want him to think of me as fat & to view me positively. I'm asking for a whole lot"
If that's what you were actually asking for, you'd have realized you've already gotten it. Instead, you're holding on to a false reason to be angry out of sheer stubbornness and to avoid introspection and you're mind reading. (I.e. deciding you know what he's thinking when you clearly don't have a clue.)
If you want to be unhappy in relationships by all means keep it up. If you want to be happy, you need to stop being PO'ed at a guy who did nothing wrong. You'll either end up single or not respecting your BF since he puts up with too much and won't stand up for himself.
If that's what you were actually asking for, you'd have realized you've already gotten it. Instead, you're holding on to a false reason to be angry out of sheer stubbornness and to avoid introspection and you're mind reading. (I.e. deciding you know what he's thinking when you clearly don't have a clue.)
If you want to be unhappy in relationships by all means keep it up. If you want to be happy, you need to stop being PO'ed at a guy who did nothing wrong. You'll either end up single or not respecting your BF since he puts up with too much and won't stand up for himself.
@Zombie
Yes. He really didn't do anything wrong. You're creating a problem in your relationship because of your insecurities.
@Zombie
Why's everybody have to go to right to insecurities lol. We're all insecure from time to time. I'm no more insecure than anyone else. I just genuinely have an issue with his wording
@Zombie
Most people's personal insecurities don't directly negatively impact other people. Yours are.
Tell your bf this is the correct answer to all questions about your appearance: "You look really good." (This is my husband's line and it works well, lol.)
PS: The fact that some overweight and out of shape women call themselves voluptuous does not mean your bf was thinking 'fat' when he used the word. It's a word that can have very positive connotations. I think you should let it go. I doubt he meant anything negative.
PS: The fact that some overweight and out of shape women call themselves voluptuous does not mean your bf was thinking 'fat' when he used the word. It's a word that can have very positive connotations. I think you should let it go. I doubt he meant anything negative.
@colette
That and then complimenting a specific part of the body/look to give the illusion of us noticing everything. I'll see myself out.
I think when women call themselves voluptuous, there is reason to be suspicious. I think if a boyfriend calls you voluptuous, he's saying you're not skinny and he likes it. Whether you are actually fat or not is irrelevant, because you are not too fat for him. If he had a problem with your weight, you'd sense it because he would lose his desire for you. Actions speak louder than words. Does he make you feel desirable or doesn't he? If he loses sexual interest in you, then you have something to worry about. That matters and whether YOU think you're too fat or not, in which case its up to you to do something about it.
@obladi
LOL. I believe you. But like I said, its irrelevant whether you actually are or not. If YOU think you're fat (which you don't) then its on you to do something about it. Just sayin.
No he is implying shes bedridden obese
@slimbro
Oops, you just gave yourself away, troll. First you said he called you fat.
Now he called you fat and ugly.
Silly me. I believed you for a while.
Now he called you fat and ugly.
Silly me. I believed you for a while.
No...he is saying you are fulfilling, and pleasing to his eye.
@Deactivated_9_17_17
Yeah, I know right!
First, it appeared that everyone was overthinking the question,
but on second thought: there are SOO many people who come on this board JUST to get approval on their answers, and seek some kind of "status" or ranking to nurture a part of their self image and self worth, it's kind of like high-school.
I mean think about it, what really MOTIVATES somebody to help people they can't even put a face too. If I step back, and keep this question in my head: What's REALLY motivating some people to some post answers? It all finally makes sense. hmmm...
First, it appeared that everyone was overthinking the question,
but on second thought: there are SOO many people who come on this board JUST to get approval on their answers, and seek some kind of "status" or ranking to nurture a part of their self image and self worth, it's kind of like high-school.
I mean think about it, what really MOTIVATES somebody to help people they can't even put a face too. If I step back, and keep this question in my head: What's REALLY motivating some people to some post answers? It all finally makes sense. hmmm...
"Do these pants make my ass look big?"
"No, your big ass makes your big ass look big".
Jokes aside - for the love of all holy and unholy stop with this shit testing. I am a man and I will tell you that I'll have half a foot out the door the second I hear this question. It's the worst of the trick questions - the kind with no right answer. If I was your guy I would've joked my way out of answering and then bounce if this pattern repeats. You know what's less sexy than extra weight? Lack of confidence and constant need for reassurance.
"No, your big ass makes your big ass look big".
Jokes aside - for the love of all holy and unholy stop with this shit testing. I am a man and I will tell you that I'll have half a foot out the door the second I hear this question. It's the worst of the trick questions - the kind with no right answer. If I was your guy I would've joked my way out of answering and then bounce if this pattern repeats. You know what's less sexy than extra weight? Lack of confidence and constant need for reassurance.
@Cynicus
I have plenty of confidence, I was having a bad day. You shouldn't have to joke your way out of it. Makes you look like you're hiding what you really think, never good. I don't even really have "extra" weight like that. I'm good with my size, thank you
@Cynicus
The joke would be for her benefit. The alternative is a scolding for fishing compliments and being needy. And you do not act like someone who has plenty of confidence. Talk is cheap, confidence is not that hard to spot. Neither is lack of confidence. Your job isn't convincing us, it is convincing yourself. It's not that much harder to convince your loving partner to run with you or hit the gym together than it is to put him in such an uncomfortable situation. The first one strengthens a relationship, the second one weakens it.
So you were having a bad day, feeling bloated, and perhaps had 3 pounds of bloat weight on you.
So you asked your BF if you look fat.
You do realize that your BF cannot see an extra 3 pounds on your frame. He just cant. It's a great thing about men. Most of them don't obsess about little things.
I have met two men who actually could spot 5 pounds on a girls frame. Trust me, they were vain dick heads.
You are being unfair to your BF. why do you doubt his good intentions?
So you asked your BF if you look fat.
You do realize that your BF cannot see an extra 3 pounds on your frame. He just cant. It's a great thing about men. Most of them don't obsess about little things.
I have met two men who actually could spot 5 pounds on a girls frame. Trust me, they were vain dick heads.
You are being unfair to your BF. why do you doubt his good intentions?
@HikerVeg
I don't think you understand how gross we feel when we're bloated lol. What good intentions? The way he answered makes me think that he's thought that I'm fat all along
@HikerVeg
I am a girl. Yes, absolutely I feel gross and awful and like my uterus is falling out.
I know for a fact, though, that my BF cannot visually spot on my frame the extra 3 or 5 pounds.
He complimented you. He likes your figure. His good intentions were to compliment you.
If you honestly feel that he intended to hurt you....then I guess you better dump him.
You asked for opinions and every one told you voluptuous is not fat.
The problem here is yours cause you are obsessing about the word.
I know for a fact, though, that my BF cannot visually spot on my frame the extra 3 or 5 pounds.
He complimented you. He likes your figure. His good intentions were to compliment you.
If you honestly feel that he intended to hurt you....then I guess you better dump him.
You asked for opinions and every one told you voluptuous is not fat.
The problem here is yours cause you are obsessing about the word.
DEFINITELY NOT!!!!!! That word ( to me ) means she is beautiful, sexy and juicy from head to toe.
What most guys call "voluptuous", I call a STOP sign ;)
Yep... google voluptuous woman and check the pictures, only overweight girls
He might be but if he was unattracted to you he would walk. He obviously likes your voluptious form. He obviously wasnt saying it out of hate or he would just say yes youre fat. Id give him a break and not worry about it. X
voluptuous to most guys equals good looking woman with big boobs and wide hips. Someone posted a good photo. Meets that criteria to a T.
No. I have been called that and I am certainly not fat. But 36,24,36 is curvy and that is what is called voluptuos. I am 5'4" 121 pounds.
Not at all, if a guy calls a woman voluptuous in my experience he is really into her and thinks she’s hot!
I am voluptous and i use ever curve i have to blow bf mind everyday.. N im sure a skinny girl could too..Its all in what YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR.. Cause thats what they are gonna see as well.. Throw on a bikini..shake your thang and know you are the one everyone wants in that room!
voluptuous = wearing fat well...