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Everything You Need to Know About Foot Fetishes

Do Feet Turn You On? You're Not Alone

November 16, 2024

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One of the most spectacular — and most frustrating! — wonders of the human body is that no two people are created exactly the same.

Even identical twins have varying idiosyncrasies that set them apart from their mirror image. That’s why, when it comes to turning on a new partner or finding a way to become aroused yourself, there is no one-touch-fits-all methodology that works.

Instead, understanding your own desires, fantasies, kinks and fetishes — no matter how seemingly harmless and simple or outlandish — is essential for having a healthy, exciting and fulfilling sex life.

One fetish that is widely talked about and rarely understood is a foot fetish. Though foot fetishes have become more commonly discussed in recent years, mentioning anything about sexy toes or a seductive ankle might garner you an eyebrow raise from many people today.

That being said, there’s nothing wrong or sinful about being attracted to feet. Just like some guys find a sexy pair of legs more erotic than a nice, firm butt, other men find feet to be the most alluring body parts.

So if you find yourself having sexual fantasies about feet, don’t worry. The more you can learn about your foot fetish, the more empowered you will be to act on it. Here’s everything you need to know about getting into your urges:

What Is a Foot Fetish, Exactly?

Though you may never have encountered information about them in sex education, foot fetishes are actually pretty common when it comes to expressions of human desire.

As sex expert Coleen Singer defines it, foot fetishism “is a heightened and specific sexual interest in feet and/or footwear. It is the most common form of sexual fetishism for otherwise non-sexual objects or body parts, and is more prevalent in men than women.”

Not only is it a very common fetish, but it is one that doesn’t require another object and is not potentially dangerous to participate in. It just means that normal sexual activities — hand jobs, oral sex, intercourse — have an element of feet added into them.

What a Sex Life With a Foot Fetish Looks Like

Though many people see feet as a rather pedestrian body part, for someone who has a foot fetish, bare feet can feel way more erotic and intense than seeing someone they’re attracted to naked.

Seeing someone’s feet naked, or dressed up in some sexy footwear, can have a serious erotic charge for a foot fetishist. That’s why many of them ask people for feet pics online, or flock to sites that showcase pictures of celebrity feet like Wikifeet.

When you are part of a relationship where your partner accepts your foot fetish, it means that you both make an effort to incorporate foot play into your routine.

“A person who has a foot fetish also may get sexually excited by licking the feet, smelling the feet and toes, having a person step on them, using the feet to stimulate their penis and balls, or rubbing feet,” explains sexologist Jess O’Reilly. “With foot worship, it can be the man at the woman's feet, literally. It can also involve anything that touches the feet, like shoes, socks, or dressing the feet up or binding them.”

What Are Some Causes of Foot Fetishes?

Just like with anything else that turns you on more than other parts, a foot fetish can come from a variety of different places, and sex experts agree there are many theories on what could cause this specific desire.

Early Experience With a Foot

“One theory suggests that we develop fetishes in response to erotic associations,” O’Reilly explains. “If you had an early erotic experience that involved feet, your brain and body may have created a lasting erotic association. This may be considered a Pavlovian response.”

The Desire to Be Submissive

Another factor may be if you have a desire to be submissive. Because feet are often associated with humiliation and low stature, foot worship can be a powerful component of a Dom/sub dynamic. Guys with foot fetishes may find submissive pleasure in being made to lick and suck on a person’s toes, or be stepped on.

The Disgust of Feet

“Another theory suggests that your foot fetish may have more to do with disgust,” O’Reilly explains. “As arousal levels heighten, your disgust instincts become less sharp and you no longer respond as strongly to disgust.”

“This altered state of perception allows you to engage sexually with objects that you might normally find off-putting — like feet,” she notes. “The taboo element of this theory falls in line with dominant cultural messages about sex: it is naughty, dirty and shameful; a foot fetish may be one outlet through which we reconcile the conflict between our experience of sexual pleasure and negative sexual messages.”

There Might Not Be a Specific Cause

And lastly — all experts agree that having a foot fetish might just be part of who you are and part of what makes you tick, with no special reasoning behind it.

After all, as O’Reilly points out, one of the most beloved children’s fairy tales revolves around an obsession with a single slipper that fits on the most perfect foot: Cinderella.

“The foot has a long history of romantic/erotic associations,” she says. “The Cinderella story refers to her perfect, small foot fitting into the glass slipper. Several cultures have histories of emphasizing foot size as a sign of feminine/masculine attraction.”

What Are Some Common Misconceptions About Foot Fetishes?

Though it is the most common fetish, there are still some unjust misconceptions and stigmas around being attracted to that part of the body.

But breaking through those stereotypes is important — that way more people will feel empowered to be exactly who they are and have the type of sexual experience they justly desire.

As Singer notes, a person with a foot fetish isn’t classified as "perverted" — instead, it is that they have a preference like anyone else that happens to be less common than the traditional choices.

“As with any fetish, it is tied to a trigger that sparks the libido, just like any other sort of ‘non-fetish’ sexual activity, like having your erogenous zones stimulated by your partner,” she says.

While some people may believe that a foot fetish is just a phase, Singer notes that, especially with a fetish that is traditionally ingrained in your mind and body at a young age, a foot fetish is likely to stick with you for life.

“People with sexual fetishes, including feet and shoes, often remember the fetish as beginning very early in their lives,” she explains. “In the case of the foot fetish, this can often be traced to an event or situation in which the seeing or touching of feet or shoes became paired with sexual arousal.”

“Although there is very little consensus by psychologists and psychiatrists of the exact ‘wiring’ of this or any other sexual fetish, it is a powerful and often lifelong phenomenon,” Singer notes.

How Do You Talk to Your Partner About Your Foot Fetish?

If you’re interested in someone for the long haul and potentially even marriage, it is essential that you are upfront about who you are — emotionally, personally, physically and yes, sexually.

Depending on your comfort levels with sex, it might be incredibly difficult to bring up this conversation and maybe even more so with someone you’ve been with for a long time if you haven’t yet confided in them about this particular aspect of your desires.

A good approach would be to have a more holistic conversation about your sex life and your desires to discover things you and your partner might both be into that you haven’t yet explored together, perhaps even using a yes/no/maybe list together.

You can use this conversation about sex as an opportunity to open up about how erotic you find feet and foot play. Depending on your partner’s comfort levels with sex, kinks and feet, they may find this erotic, uncontroversial, or odd and offputting at first.

However, given that foot fetishes are fairly common, that they’ve become more normalized in popular discourse in recent years and that it’s possible to work foot play into many aspects of otherwise vanilla sex, there’s a decent chance your admission won’t provoke a total freakout.

O’Reilly also says that paying compliments and starting small with sexual acts is an easy way to start with a partner.

“Compliment their feet!” she says. “Offer a foot massage. Let them know that their feet are beautiful and exciting and that touching them makes you feel relaxed and aroused. And then tell them exactly what you want to do to their feet.”.

“Even if they’re not into it and even if they’re a bit uncomfortable, a partner with whom you are sexually compatible won’t judge you,” O’Reilly says. “They’ll try to understand your needs and together you can negotiate ways in which to work your desires, if only in part, into your sexual repertoire.”

How to Incorporate Your Foot Fetish Into Your Sex Life

The first and most important step is to come to terms, as a person, with your fetish.

This might mean talking to a therapist or talking with other people who have a foot fetish to become more comfortable with your sexual desires.

“Own it,” O’Reilly says. “Do not apologize. Do not be embarrassed. You are perfectly normal. You shouldn’t have to apologize for your natural inclinations and desires. And get online! There are supportive communities and sharing sites designed just for you. Indulge and let your mind wander.”

Another step? Being selective about who you date. As O’Reilly explains, “Sexual compatibility is about being similarly open-minded; it is not about having the same desires, but respecting one another’s desires. If your partner judges you and isn’t willing to work through this judgment (this is their job — not yours), you are not sexually compatible.”

That being said, you must be respectful of your partner’s boundaries and be willing to take it slow if this is new and somewhat strange to them. It is going to be a learning process, especially if they’ve never been with someone who shares your same fantasies.

“If you have a very strong foot fetish, this is something that will need to be explored and negotiated early on in the relationship, and it may just become the deal breaker,” says Singer. “If you do not see eye to eye on this, it will result in you going ‘toe-to-toe’ with each other in the relationship, so you may need to move on,” she says.

However, if your partner is game, incorporating your foot fetish into the relationship can be a fun experience for both parties. Another fun way — that will also be great for you! — is to shower your partner with gifts that play into your foot fetish — like sexy shoes, or nice pedicures every now and then.

RELATED: Best Romantic Gifts for Women

Next, incorporate foot play into your sex life. Try adding a footjob or foot massage to your foreplay and see what that’s like. Explore foot-related dirty talk. Ask your partner to send you sexy feet pics from time to time. It doesn’t need to be the sole focus, so long as it’s a meaningful part of your sex life, that could work as a compromise between you and a partner who doesn’t feel the same foot-based arousal.

The biggest goal is to make the foot fetish seem less all-encompassing and more a part of a healthy sex life that turns you on, while also focusing on all of the things that get her going, too. After all, your intimate relationship should never be one-sided.

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