Everything You Need To Know About Golden Showers

Your 101 Guide To Understanding Those 'Golden Shower' References

While it might appear to be a seemingly recent sexual activity, being turned on by bodily fluids is a relatively common desire, according to experts.

Yes, golden showers, aka "water sports" are something that more than you might realize sexually fantasize about. The fetish for a golden shower is called “urolagnia,” meaning “lust for urine,” and people who engage in it may call it “piss play” as well.

“It is more common than most people would think,” psychologist Dr. Nikki Martinez explains. “It is as common as any other fetish that people have relating to sex.”

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Whether the thought of giving or receiving a golden shower fills you with excitement, grosses you out a bit, or provokes a decidedly neutral reaction, it’s often an exercise of trust within a relationship since it requires a bit of vulnerability as you explore a sexual taboo together.

From what a golden shower really is to how to talk to your partner about it, the sex experts give their best scoop:

What Is a Golden Shower?

It’s not uncommon for people to pee while taking a shower, either at their home or while on vacation. The color of your urine mixed with the pouring water creates a yellow-ish shade — and that’s how you might think about a golden shower.

Except, instead of swirling down the drain, the sexual fetish version includes performing that act on someone else (or having them perform it on you).

While people of any gender or sex can enjoy watersports, Martinez believes that it’s more common for women to pee on their partners in these cases than men. This may be in part due to physiological reasons: when someone with a penis has an erection, it becomes nearly impossible to urinate at the same time.

Psychologically, golden showers are “a sexual act of dominance and submission,” Martinez explains, “with the person doing the urination as the dominant, and the one being urinated on being the one being dominated.”

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Though the fluids involved are not especially similar, peeing on someone’s face is not radically different from ejaculating on their face to give them a facial — or on their chest or other body parts you find erotic.

“For some people body fluids are a very erotic thing. Urine is one of the body fluids that is also eroticized, but not as openly as other fluids like ejaculate and spit,” explains sex instructor and expert Hunter Riley.

Why Do People Like Golden Showers?

If the concept, the smell, or the visual of this act don’t get you a little bit excited, you may be wondering why people would willingly pee or be peed on.

As with any sexual kink, fetish or desire, the reason people experience it may differ from person to person.

“Some people enjoy the degradation or humiliation component of it, some people enjoy engaging in it because it's taboo,” Riley explains.

Sex educator Dirty Lola says that the “dominant/submissive dynamic and the humiliation aspect sometimes go hand-in-hand” with an appreciation for water sports. As Lola points out, peeing on someone “can be seen as marking your territory.”

A taste for urolagnia may also stem from a childhood experience of seeing or experiencing pee or the act of peeing framed in an erotic context.

After all, we do urinate using our private parts; the urethra is extremely close to the vaginal opening and located at the tip of the penis, so it’s not exactly crazy that urine sometimes takes on a sexual context for people.

In any case, whatever reason you or anyone else is into piss play, “there's no wrong or right reason to engage in it,” Riley says. “As long as you and your partners are being safe and consensual, it's normal and healthy to explore your fetishes.”

Especially if you enjoy a little S&M or role-playing, adding in the thrill of a golden shower with a partner could take things to the next level.

Are Golden Showers Healthy?

It’s true that urine has many healing aspects — it cures a painful jellyfish sting, can act as a natural disinfectant when you’re out of options and if boiled, can actually be consumed to save you from dying of thirst. But it also is full of bacteria, making this particular fetish a somewhat complex case when it comes to health.

But what works in your favor? The actual composition of urine is 95 percent water (hence why you technically could drink it). The remaining 5% can include nutrients and minerals such as calcium, iron, magnesium and zinc, as well as pigments (hence the yellow) and amino acids.

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“As long as the people engaging in piss play are consenting to it, it is a totally fine fetish to be involved in,” Riley explains. “Urine is sterile, people can drink their own urine without posing a health risk, so the main concern with piss play to make sure you and your partner negotiate it and get consent on when, where and how to engage with this fetish.”

However, it’s useful to note that it is possible to pass certain sexually transmitted infections through urine, so testing beforehand, as with other situations where one person consumes another’s bodily fluids, is important.

What's the History of Golden Showers?

While the actual sex term "golden shower" has been around since the 1940s, Merriam-Webster’s dictionary didn’t sanction it officially in its pages until 1968, as defined as "the act of urinating on another persona, usually as part of a sex act."

"The term made its first most noted appearance in popular culture in former callgirl Xaviera Hollander's best-selling memoir The Happy Hooker in 1972. Since then the term has popped up in music, movies, TV and politics,” Lola notes.

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While urolagnia doesn't receive a ton of exposure in popular media, there is an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie dates a politician who requests a golden shower after they’ve been dating for a while. After much deliberation, Carrie decides she can’t go through with it, and ends their relationship.

More recently, it shows up in the fourth season of the show You, where Adam is into getting peed on.

While the practice may have been shocking or taboo when Sex and the City was first airing, it’s definitely a bit less so these days, as kinks and fetishes have become more acceptable to discuss, and lots of dating apps and sites cater to them specifically.

Talking to a Partner About Getting Into Golden Showers

While piss play is far from rare and certainly not the most out-there fetish, many people may still find it strange, off-putting or downright gross. 

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So, if you’re interested in trying this act and it’s important to your overall sexual happiness, but you're not sure how a partner feels about water sports, approaching the topic in a meaningful, patient way can be useful. 

Before you go balls-to-the-wall (or ahem, the toilet), Riley suggests talking about sexual fetishes, in general.

“I highly recommend filling out a yes/no/maybe checklist with your partner to get an idea of what you all are interested in,” she says. “Getting more involved in the kink and fetish scenes in your city might also be a great way to build community with other people who share your fetishes. Asking them how they brought it up with their partners might also help give you ideas of where to start.”

Another option? Looking for potential partners on kink or fetish-oriented dating apps, like Feeld, could help you more easily find someone who’s down to have fun and sexy golden showers with you.

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