Never Have I Ever: Taken a Home STI Test
The Pros & Cons of Taking a Home STI Test, Revealed
Have you ever played “Never Have I Ever” before? Here are the rules: Everyone puts up ten fingers, and you go around in a circle and one by one share something sexy or scandalous that you’ve never done before. When someone else shares something you have done, you have to put one finger down — and of course, drink. The first person to put all 10 fingers down loses (or wins, depending on how you look at it).
Well, AskMen is still playing Never Have I Ever, and the rules are simple: In each edition of this column, we speak to someone about doing something new in bed, whether it’s a long-time fantasy, something that just happened, or even something they regret. They tell us everything so you get an inside look at what some sexual experiences are actually like.
Getting screened for STIs certainly isn’t the most glamorous part of sex, but it’s an inherent aspect that allows for sex to be safer, and, as a result, sexier.
Folks may associate STI screenings with waiting under the fluorescent lights of a doctor’s office. However, thanks to the rise of at-home tests, like STDCheck, which Carly, a 37-year-old sex educator and writer based in New York City used, you can skip the doctor’s office and take the test at home.
RELATED: Your Go-To Guide for Safer Sex
Carly is queer and non-monogamous with a primary partner. However, notably, Carly’s personal experience with STIs arose from a monogamous relationship, rather than non-monogamy.
In addition to answering all our questions about what it was like recently taking an at-home test, and what it’s like to draw your own blood, we talk about how monogamous relationships can be the riskiest relationship format there is.
Before you used an at-home test, what was your experience with STI testing? Do you go regularly, or just when needed?
Yes, I do test regularly, and use my gynecologist as my primary care physician.
Is it scary to you?
I hate needles even though I'm very tattooed. Getting blood drawn is not my favorite. I hate the sight of blood. But ironically when I was in monogamous relationships my past partners have given me STIs, so I get tested so I can stay on top of my health. The scariest part is waiting for the results, and even that isn't really scary because most STIs are curable and easily dealt with.
Interesting. Can you tell me more?
I experienced a higher risk in my monogamous relationships because since we did not have expectations or conversations about outside dating or hookups outside of our relationship, I did not expect my partner to not only have hookups but to have unprotected hookups where he was potentially bringing back STIs, which is unfortunately exactly what happened.
Luckily since I was on birth control and was still actively getting tested because of my check-ups it was caught and treated, but because I knew I was faithful and when I was last tested, it was easy to come to the conclusion that my partner at the time was obviously cheating on me and bringing home unwanted infections.
Because my current partner and I have lots of discussions around boundaries and protection, this isn't something we've ever had to worry about, and even then we still get tested to be sure of our safety and the safety of those we're dating and hooking up with.
RELATED: How to Talk About Sex With a Partner
Before you got an at-home test, what did you think about the idea of doing it yourself?
I thought it was going to be a difficult process and would take a lot of blood like when you're at the doctor. It feels like they take so much when you're there.
How did you hear of one?
I have a pretty popular blog (www.dildoordildont.com) and a company reached out to ask me to review one. I'm always game to try something new even if it's kind of scary.
What was the experience like? What led you to decide to do it?
It was way easier than I thought it was going to be. The hardest part was doing the blood draw myself, and my partner helped me. You need way less blood than they take at the doctor’s office.
RELATED: Dealing With a Sexually Transmitted Infection
I wouldn't say it was the easiest thing I've ever done, but it was way easier than I anticipated and if it was my only option, I would do it again. Although when it comes down to it, given the choice, I would rather let a doctor do it because the blood drawing part is personally icky and I’d rather have literally anyone else do it.
Was it hard to actually do the testing?
The testing part is easy. You send away the blood sample, you fill out the paperwork and you wait for the results, just like any other doctor appointment.
What was it like waiting for your results?
Like any other waiting, it can be stressful, especially if you've had an exposure. But depending on the service, they're pretty quick.
Would you do it again?
I would do it again if I didn't have access to a doctor, but I don't like having to draw my own blood. If that isn't something that bothers you, then this is a great option.
What advice would you give to someone considering it?
Testing is super important and if this is a way that helps you access it then I absolutely think you should try it. Just keep in mind you have to draw your own blood which can be difficult, especially if you’re a needle weenie like myself.
You Might Also Dig:
-
sex
Sexual Health
STDs
Never Have I Ever