New Study Suggests People Are Very Shy About Their Desires
According to New Data, a Shockingly High Number of People Are Hiding Their Kinks From Partners
The Story
How in touch are you with your sexual self? Enough to share your secret desires and fantasies with a partner?
As it turns out, despite the sexually liberated, kink-friendly culture many would believe we live in, lots of people are too anxious to open up about their true sexual wants and needs to, well, the person they’re sleeping with — according to a new study by the dating app Flure, that is.
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The Snapshot
The app surveyed 2,000 people and found that unfortunately, the majority (just over 60%) don’t feel comfortable sharing their kinks and fetishes with partners.
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Some of the problem seems to stem from the fact that many believe that their kinks (and sexual kinks generally) are less common than they really are, and that most people are into more vanilla sex.
However, the upshot of this is that over half — 53% of the respondents feel that they’re not fully sexually satisfied because they’re not exploring their true desires with other people in bed.
The Lesson
Though the influence of sex-negative religious viewpoints may have waned in recent decades, unfortunately, questions of sexual shame still run rampant in our society.
These feelings of internalized shame around our desires can cause all kinds of people to hide parts of themselves from the people they might benefit most from showing them to: romantic and sexual partners.
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While it can be daunting to contemplate opening up about these things, talking about them early in a relationship can help you and a partner grow comfortable with sharing a new or unexpected aspect of sex together. And you never know — they might be into the same thing as you, but too shy to admit it themselves.
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